Open Letter to the Unattractive Girls with Misleading Photos

Dear Unattractice Girls with Misleading Photos,
I could not help but notice that you’ve changed your medium of meeting guys from Myspace to Facebook. How could I tell, you wonder? Because I’ve received several friend requests from females of your ilk as of recent.
Whenever I see that little “+1″ alert in the upper right hand corner [...]

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Weak-Ass Thing of the Week

Okay, this one is gonna piss a few people off. But just hear me out because odds are your reasoning for liking this despicable example of weak-assedness will be addressed in the following post.
You know how sometimes people love something or someone so much that the very idea of that object in question becomes repulsive? [...]

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The Summer 2009 Story Pt. II: I’ve Lost My Voice

So, apparently spending copious amounts of time in a swimming pool, a hot tub, drinking, and talking in a loud, douchey voice will result in the inability to speak.
My voice is high-pitched, scratchy, quiet, annoying, and went from sounding like Christian Bale in The Dark Knight on day one of voice loss…

…to Herbert the Pervert [...]

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Taylor Swift, Girl of my Dreams? Check.

It’s no secret I love Taylor Swift.
And then I came across this video from some CMT awards show or something.
Peep Taylor Swift and T-Pain. It is called Thug Story. And it is adorable.

I’m not gonna write a long post talking about what makes Taylor Swift and this video so great because [...]

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The Hippie Epidemic

What could be worse?
Twice in the last two days while driving around hunting for jobs and girls of legal age I’ve been confronted with the ugly truth that hippies are not yet extinct.

And yes, they’re ugly as ever.

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The Summer 2009 Story Pt. I: Unemployed and Sober

Holy shit. This summer sucks.
By the end of this week I will have been home for a month. I haven’t been able to find a job and I’ve only partied one weekend.
What’s a guy to do?
I’ll let you know when I find out.

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Nerdy Post of the Week: Jensen Ackles in RE4?

This evening I was flipping through the channels trying to find something fun to put on while I worked out. I eventually landed on Resident Evil: Apocalypse. Since I’m currently on my second playthrough of RE5 and I hadn’t seen the film in a while I figured, why not?
So, I’m sitting here checking Google and [...]

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Chipotle: The Fall From Grace

I’ve talked about Chipotle a pretty fair deal on this here blog. It’s been my go-to quick food joint ever since I discovered four or five summers ago while under the influence.
Much like the times, though, I have been changing. 
Chipotle, once my most cherished burrito spot, has fallen from grace. It all started when I [...]

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Eat Shit, Albert Wesker

I bought Resident Evil 5 a week or so after it was released. Because I figured I did a fine job on RE4 and I wanted the extra Gamerscore points I decided that on my first playthrough I would set the game on Veteran difficulty.
Ce n’etait pas une bonne idee. 
As it turns out, without any [...]

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Nobody Makes Me Bleed My Own Blood

Ocean City really did a number on me this past weekend. My knee is jacked the hell up.

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